I HATE THIS FEELING.

i hate him.

i hate her.

i hate them.

but,

i love him. =(

yet, i'm not his.

i can't accept when everyone congratulate him for having her.

i couldn't bear their pics together

but, it's even unbearable for me not to look, =(

wishing that something different might turn up sometime.

why did he post them up in the 1st place?

was it as a proof of him that he has moved on?

as a warning?

as a ticket for me not stepping one step closer in his life?

a way of making me jealous n regret?

a token to take his revenge on me?

or this.. or that??

so many different scenarios running in this small head of mine.

still, i never got the answer.

i'm afraid to ask..

yes. we always let the sleeping dogs lie..

coz we both knew,

how certain and curious we might,

n how true what we thought d answers might be..

be that as it may..

we can't bear knowing da truth.

experience thought us, third times a charm.

so, we kept on beating around d bush all dis while.

i always wonder..

how she made him laugh?

lightened his day?

being his shoulder to cry on?

can she make him smile n laugh like i did?

can she soothes him like i do?

can she be his instant-moodchange when he's sober like i used to?

is their love is as pure as ours?

not lead by greed,lust,or whatsoever.

i got the best of both worlds,

how can i choose which is d apple of my eye. =(

TO LOVE, OR BE LOVED?

TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE?

OR BE WITH THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU??

I'm caught in between a rock n a hard place.

resentful by da actions i took, decisions i made,

it's a taste of my own medicine.

i dun want both of them ever had any gut feeling.

Irrationally speaking..

They are both too good too be true,

that I might not end up with either of them. =(

i'm a witch in disguise.

as greedy n envy as d step-mother of snow white ,

for only wanting her beauty to be fairest in da land.

THEY BOTH DESERVE BETTER.

n let me be an old maiden. =(

MY MISTAKE to begin with.

I created all dis mess.

so, it's mine n mine only to endure.

[[so many more to write,

but, so little time had left.

TO BE CONT.]]